


twisting fate

by akamine_chan



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-28
Updated: 2014-09-28
Packaged: 2018-02-19 01:37:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2369636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akamine_chan/pseuds/akamine_chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“The Buddhists say if you meet somebody and your heart pounds, your hands shake, your knees go weak, that’s not the one. When you meet your ‘soul mate’ you’ll feel calm. No anxiety, no agitation”</p><p>from Monica Drake's <i>Clown Girl</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	twisting fate

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Tumblr user Frerardhub's Happily Ever After Challenge.
> 
> Lightning beta by Ande, as ever; title from _Millions_ by Gerard Way.
> 
> Russian translation available [here](https://ficbook.net/readfic/3328918).

Frank, like everyone else in the world, has heard it before. When you meet your soulmate, you'll know. "How?" he’d always asked. 

His mom and dad answered with, "You just will."

Frank shrugs. He's sure that meeting his soulmate is going to make his heart race, cause his knees to go wobbly and his hands shake, like that time he met the guys from the Misfits. He'd felt light headed and dizzy, and he was sure he looked like a total dork, but whatever. He got an awesome picture taken with the band and it's pinned to the corkboard hanging on his bedroom wall. 

But Frank's always kinda nervous and jumpy and jittery, so how is he gonna know it's his soulmate, and not just someone who makes him nervous?

"Frankie, you worry too much," his mom says, hugging him.

Frank squirms in her arms, embarrassed, even though it's just him and her in the kitchen. His dad will be home soon and "Moooom," he whines.

She laughs and presses a kiss to his temple. "Set the table, baby. Dinner's about ready."

He does as she tells him, but it still gnaws at him. He's terrified of somehow missing his soulmate. You only get one chance. Everyone's heard the stories of those who lost their soulmates before they even had a chance to have them, and the thought of that makes his stomach knot up and hurt.

Frank wonders if other kids think about it as much as he does.

His friend Shaun's older sister's best friend's cousin managed to miss out on meeting their soulmate; he died not long afterward of a broken heart. Frank isn't sure he believes it, but it makes him anxious. 

High school is a blur of stress, not only about his future soulmate, but also about getting into college. He gets a scholarship to Rutgers, and it's a good school. Frank's not entirely sure he _wants_ to keep going to school, but his dad insists that Frank go unless he has a compelling reason to quit. Frank's definition of compelling and his dad's differ significantly, so Frank is resigned to sticking it out. 

Not that psychology is a great back up plan, but whatever. It makes his parents happy, and it's close enough that he gets to go home on the weekends. 

In the summer, he finds a crappy part time job and spends his meager wages on pizza, guitar strings and tattoos.

One day Hambone brings a flyer to band practice because he wants to go to this show. Frank's heard of the headliners, a punk outfit called Noin, and Shaun says the opening act is really going places. The flyer is awesome, zombies and skeletons, all Halloween-y, which is always a plus as far as Frank is concerned.

The show's in an old church basement, and there are maybe thirty kids there, but Frank doesn't notice, he's totally blown away by the opening band, Chemical Something-or-other. The guy on the guitar is some kind of god, shredding like his life depends on it. He sees a somewhat familiar face, that kid who interns at Eyeball, on the bass. 

But it's the singer that has him transfixed. 

The guy's a little chunky, covered in sweat and kinda greasy looking, but he's bleeding up there on the tiny stage, ripping open his chest and pulling out his heart with words that cut like glass. Frank can't look away, can't do anything but stand on his tip toes and try to see better. Before long he finds a chair and stands on it, bouncing a little in place with the raw rhythms of the music. "Holy fuck," he mutters. He's never felt anything like this before. 

This band is going places; Frank can feel it in his bones.

The set is short and the singer mumbles into the mic between songs, Frank can barely make out what he's saying, but it doesn't matter. What matters is the crash of drums, the roar of the guitar, and the way the music vibrates in his soul.

When the headliners take the stage, Frank pulls Hambone away from some chick he's trying to talk up. Out the side door and around the back. And sure enough, there's a crowd of mostly scene kids, dressed in black and heavy on the eyeliner. There's lots of vaguely familiar faces; Frank's pretty sure some of these people have been to Pencey shows, but the face he's looking for is the kid from Eyeball, Mikeyway.

Frank finds him. "Oh, hey, Mikeyway. Long time no see," he says after literally bumping into Mikey, who's huddled next to the singer. Frank takes a pointy elbow to the ribs, but that's okay. "Didn't know you were in a new band." Mikey's like Frank, he's been in a billion different bands over the years. Mikey'd even tried out for Pencey, once. 

"Yeah, with my brother," Mikey says, pulling the singer closer. "Frank, Hambone, Gerard, my brother." Mikey looks proud. "We always talked about starting a band someday, and we finally did."

"Hey," Hambone says casually, before turning away to talk to someone else.

Frank sighs, because Hambone's been such a tool lately. "Hey," Frank offers, extending his hand to Gerard. Gerard reaches out to shake and when their hands touch, something happens. 

It's almost like drowning, sinking down into cool water, where everything's still and quiet. He feels calm and relaxed, like dying and being reborn at the same time. His entire being slows, stills, the very atoms and molecules winding down to a stop.

Gerard's eyes widen in surprise. The universe pauses, holds its breath, and the moment stretches out.

Frank's paralyzed, unable to move as he realizes this is _it_ , Gerard's the other half of himself that he's been waiting for his whole life. He can feel parts of Gerard seeping into him, personality and memories and experiences intertwining with his own, integrating them into something stronger, something _whole_ —

Something like stark terror flashes across Gerard's face and he jerks his hand away like Frank's touch burns. Before Frank can say a word Gerard's walking away at a fast clip, head down and hands jammed into the pockets of his ripped jeans. He turns the corner of the church, disappearing from sight, and it breaks Frank's paralysis.

"What the fuck?" He hesitates briefly before jogging after Gerard. Frank can still feel the warmth of Gerard's skin, and the way they fit together. He's been waiting for this moment his entire life and he's not going to let Gerard walk away from him like this.

He catches up with Gerard fairly quickly. "Hey, Gerard, wait up, will you?" Gerard ignores him, and it's annoying, because Frank just wants to talk to him a little. Find out what's going on in his head. It's not every day you meet your soulmate, and Gerard's reaction is far from typical. "Dude, seriously, wait up."

Gerard ignores him, and Frank finally catches his elbow and pulls him to a stop. Gerard's shoulders are hunched, and he's staring at Frank's worn chucks. "What?" he mutters sullenly.

"What's wrong with you," Frank hisses. "You can't just walk away after —"

Gerard looks at him, meets his eyes. "After what? Some mystical bullshit soulmate connection?" He makes air quotes around the words, and Frank can taste the sarcasm. "I don't want it. I didn't ask for a soulmate, and I don't need one." He crosses his arms over his chest, mouth tightening .

"Well, fuck you, too. I certainly wasn't expecting an asshole for a soulmate." Frank kicks half-heartedly at Gerard's foot. " I don't want you either." The lie is bitter in his mouth, but if Gerard's going to reject him out of hand like this, Frank's not going to give him the satisfaction of seeing how much it hurts. 

"Fine," Gerard snaps.

"Fine," Frank agrees, tipping his chin up defiantly. Fuck if he's going to let Gerard get the last word. "Okay." He takes a step back, and it's painful, his entire being _yearns_ toward Gerard. He can't help himself, he has to touch one last time, 

Frank's body is moving on automatic; he leans in and goes up on tiptoe, pressing a kiss to Gerard's chapped lips. Frank can feel how tense Gerard is, he's holding himself stiff and still. Abruptly, he sighs against Frank's mouth. His hands, strong and suddenly sure, cup Frank's shoulders and pull him close, his tongue sliding out to lick over Frank's lips.

Frank gasps, because the connection is so much stronger now. While they touch, he can sense Gerard's thoughts and his eyes flutter shut as he lets himself sink into the kiss. Gerard tastes like coffee and cigarettes, and under that, the metallic bite of fear.

"You're afraid," he accuses, pulling away. He watches the blush climb Gerard's face, settle into his cheeks.

"Fuck yeah I am. Aren't you?" Gerard sounds belligerent, all fast words and Jersey attitude.

Frank tilts his head consideringly. "I was more afraid of missing you." 

"This soulmate stuff is serious business, you know? If something happens to you, I'm screwed. I don't want to risk that. I _can't_."

Frank crowds Gerard against the wall. "Well, you can choose to be scared, and run away, and never experience this ever again." He lets his mind open up, nudges this thoughts against Gerard, showing him the parts of himself he's always kept hidden away. "You'll always be alone, and empty, and looking for me." Gerard shudders and makes a sad little sound. "Or you can take the chance and be with me. I'm taking the same risk, you know? If something happens to you—" It doesn't bear thinking about.

"I—" Gerard swallows hard and shakes his head, dark hair covering his face.

Frank's determined. "It won't be easy. But if we're together, we're stronger. We can do anything. That's what soulmates are about." Frank threads his fingers through Gerard's, kissing the back of his hand. "I'm afraid, too."

"You are?" Gerard's eyes are wide and a little disbelieving.

"Yeah," Frank says softly. "It's terrifying. It's the rest of our lives and if something happens, it's dangerous. But I'd rather take the risk, then to walk away from what this could be, if we let it."

Gerard shakes his head. "I'm not strong like you, I'm not brave, Frank. I'm a coward—"

Frank laughs out loud. Frank can feel Gerard's strength in his bones, in his heart. He can see the way Gerard is using drugs and alcohol as a crutch, to prop himself up, but it’s clear that Gerard doesn't need to.

"Together," he says, meeting Gerard's eyes. Frank can tell he's almost got him convinced. He kisses Gerard again, catching his bottom lip between his teeth, biting gently. He starts to pull away, but Gerard makes a hungry sound and pushes his fingers into Frank's hair. He kisses Frank, no hesitation now, and it's electrifying. 

Frank wants more, his hands scrabble at the hem of Gerard's shirt, sneaking under the fabric to skim along the warm skin above the waistband of his jeans. He rubs at the tiny tuft of hair under Gerard's belly button, and Gerard giggles and twists away.

Frank's fingers toy with the button of Gerard's jeans, and Gerard just kisses him hard, a soft moan vibrating deep in his chest. Frank can't help but laugh. He can hear the crowd of kids just around the corner of the building, and Hambone caught a ride in Frank's piece of shit car and is going to want a ride home. . .

"And I gotta help the guys break down our equipment," Gerard murmurs, like he's reading Frank's mind. He nuzzles at the spot behind Frank's ear. "Bad time to start something we can't finish," he says.

Frank lets out a sigh. "Hold me, just for a minute," he says quietly and Gerard wraps his arms around Frank.

"I'm sorry, Frankie, sorry for trying to run away from us, from you."

Frank nods against the warmth of Gerard's chest. "S'okay. Next time you do something stupid, 'm gonna kick your ass."

Gerard chuckles. "All right." He squeezes Frank tightly.

Frank feels the way Gerard's filling up all the lonely places inside of his heart and it's everything he's ever wanted.

-fin-


End file.
